Annoying Orange Poker Face
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Chapter 115 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works
by Adam Khan
RONALD RIGGIO, PHD, HAS BEEN doing research at the California State University at Fullerton for over seventeen years. He's been trying to find out what makes a person attractive to other people. He officially studies charisma. One important factor Riggio has discovered is the importance of 'emotional expressivity': the ability to show your emotions on your face so people can easily read how you feel. People who don't show much emotion on their faces don't attract us very much. That's one of his findings
that seems pretty obvious.
But Riggio found something that's not so obvious: Charisma also requires the ability to not show emotions. He calls it 'emotional control.' It's what I'm calling a 'poker face' because when you play poker and you get an exceptionally good hand, you don't want anyone else to know. Likewise, if you get a poor hand, you don't want them to know - it gives your opponents an advantage in betting against you. While you're playing poker, the basic rule of thumb is to not ever register your feelings overtly. The only thing that might give you away is the look on your face, so you have to show as little emotion on your face as you can.
Improving your ability to have a poker face when you need it (and only when you need it) can increase your effectiveness with people. Why? Because emotions are contagious when they can be seen. When you look at someone who is laughing, it tends to make you feel like laughing, doesn't it? Sure. And when you see someone crying, it can make you feel a little sad. Naturally. That's why good actors are so highly valued. They can make us feel emotions. We all have a tendency to experience the emotion we see on someone's face.
But, you may ask, what's wrong with that?
Nothing really, except sometimes. The problem is that there are some emotions you wouldn't want another to have. Two examples are anger and social awkwardness. When you're angry and you show it, the other person will probably become angry or defensive or afraid to some degree - they can see on your face your blood pressure is up, and their body will respond by increasing their own blood pressure. This rising intensity tends to interfere with communication.
Something similar happens when a person feels socially awkward. When you talk with someone who feels awkward because they don't quite know what to do and it shows, you feel somewhat awkward, too, don't you? Or how about when someone giving a speech feels uncomfortable up there in front of the group? Don't you also squirm in your seat a little just watching?
In these kinds of circumstances, the people would be better off and the people they're talking to would be better off if they would learn to conceal those particular emotions when they feel them.
We have all learned there are times when it is not appropriate to say certain things. You don't say to a widow at the funeral 'the dude owed me money.' At certain times and for certain situations, we all know some things are better left unsaid. Well, the emotion on your face is nonverbal, but it is still communication, and sometimes it is counterproductive to say nonverbally 'I'm angry' or 'I feel awkward.'
The good news is that you can learn to put on a poker face when you need it. I'm not suggesting phoniness or pretending you're happy when you're angry. But there are times it helps to show no emotion on your face. It's a skill like any other, and it can be improved with practice.
Practice having a 'poker face' when you feel negative emotions.
Self-Help Stuff That Works makes an excellent gift. It's a classy hardbound with a sewn binding that says practical stuff in a way that's easy to hear. You can now order it from any of twelve online bookstores. These are the most popular:
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 20). The Power of a Poker Face, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, December 15 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/power-of-a-poker-face
Last week, we asked over 50,000 of our Facebook and Twitter followers what they thought were the most annoying habits they’ve experienced at the poker table. These pet peeves ranged anywhere from a breach of table etiquette to blatant rule breaking.
Here’s a look at our ranking of the top ten responses. Let us know what we missed in the comments below.
10. Players who always chop in the blinds, unless they have a big pocket pair.
The player reserves the right to decide whether or not they want to chop every time the action folds around to the blinds preflop. That being said, you can’t change your mind just because you’ve been dealt aces. If you “always” chop, then you “always” chop. Not just when you don’t like your hand.
9. People who wear headphones at the table and can’t follow the action.
There’s nothing wrong with listening to some music at the table to pass the time, but when it affects the flow of the game, perhaps you should consider turning it down or freeing up an ear to keep tabs on the action. If we can hear your music from across the table, then you certainly can’t hear the dealer telling you how much more it is to you.
8. People who act like dealers, to the detriment of the game.
It is the dealer’s responsibility to split pots, take rake and bring in the bets, not yours. Also, believe it or not, most dealers don’t like it when you move the button, especially when you don’t tell them you are doing it. They follow a specific process for each and every hand and messing with that process only slows down the game.
7. Players who intervene when they aren’t involved in the hand.
When someone asks for another player’s count, let that player answer and stay out of the situation. Sometimes, it’s not the actual chip count we are looking for, but rather the way our opponent answers the question. The one-player-to-a-hand rule applies in many situations, including decision making, showdowns and potential deals.
6. Beginners who don’t understand how the blinds work or when it is their turn.
Annoying Orange Poker Facebook
This may fly in the face of our no. 1 pet peeve, but most poker players would agree that while we enjoy amateurs at the table, we wish they at least understood how the game was structured. After a few orbits, even first timers should get that there are two blinds to the left of the button — one small, one big.
5. Players with poor personal hygiene.
We understand that eight-hour sessions can quickly turn into 16-hour sessions, especially when you are stuck, but for the good of the game, please take a break to freshen up and pop a breath mint. Also, don’t forget to wash your hands after visiting the restroom or eating. We all have to touch those cards and chips at some point.
4. Cash game players who leave the table for big chunks of time.
Most casinos allow a player to be absent for two and a half dealer rotations before before their stack is picked up. That’s one hour and 15 minutes in most rooms. Players who leave the table to play the slots or pit games, or even have dinner, are being inconsiderate to the others who now have to play short handed. To combat this, most card rooms have a third-man walking rule, but it does little to prevent most roaming players.
3. Players who consistently act out of turn.
It’s fine if you do it once, or maybe even twice, but if you are consistently acting out of turn, or even telegraphing your intentions before it is your turn, you are hurting the game. It isn’t fair to the others in the hand to give away information. This problem is bigger later in the hand, when one player is attempting to apply some pressure against two opponents, but one has made it clear he has no intent to continue.
2. People who Hollywood and take forever to make simple decisions.
Back in 2003 when everyone was representing a premium hand, it made sense to “Hollywood” in order to protect your tight, aggressive image. These days, it’s just a waste of everybody’s time. We all know you are raising with garbage and now that you’ve been caught, dump your hand and quit slowing down the game.
1. Players who tap on the glass.
If you are a poker player, do us all a favor and don’t tap on the glass. That is, don’t scare away the fish. This may be hard for some of us to remember, but the first time you sit down at the poker table can be a pretty scary experience. Don’t make it worse for the beginners by telling them how to play the game “properly” or even worse, berating them for playing “badly.” The games are hard enough and we need all of the fish we can get.